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November 22nd, 2006

I just think her new album is an earache. I don’t think Candylove realizes this yet, but part of the reason she’s here at WritersBlock is so she can post her feminism viewpoints vs. my rather barbaric banter (hey, isn’t that what female/male relationships are all about?). So, with that said…sometimes Beyonce’ gets on my fuxing nerves. I understand that the girl can sang, she’s arguably the best young vocalist in R&B music. That’s not the problem. I should also note that the girl is extremely gorgeous, and I’d impregnate B’ with my seed any day of the week, that’s not my problem either.

I’m sorry, I don’t care what anyone says that B’Day album is shit cereal. Out of the 10 tracks on the album, only two are worth listening to on a good day. Another thing, why does the album only have 10 tracks? Probably because she rushed to finish that bullshit to coincide with her 25th birthday, hence the title B’Day (yawn). Actually, I knew this album was going to be a train wreck the moment I saw that horrid album cover (what’s that bird’s nest of a hairstyle and stupid ass look on her face?). “Deja Vu” was a lackluster attempt to rekindle the magic of “Crazy In Love” and the video was a hot mess. (There’s nothing appealing about watching Beyonce’ wallow in the dirt). I didn’t think she could make a worse video until the chick lost her damn mind with that “Ring The Alarm” shit.

And her third single, “Irreplaceable” coupled with the popularity of “Upgrade U” has every dusty ass hoodrat thinking they can upgrade swagger profuse brothers like myself (*clears throat*), or kick a nucca to the curve. Bad news hon, your boy is a first rounder everyday of week, and my stock is rising on the daily. It’ll take more than an average broad with ten fingers, ten toes, and two tatas to raise stocks over here. I’m not going to sit here and saying I’m irreplaceable but I’m damn near. So go sit your naive ass down somewhere.

Hey, I’m not hating on the girl. She did numbers this year, but I bet the 2 million people that bought her album didn’t know it would be like opening a Christmas gift only to find a bag of feces. Talk about disappointment. B’Day fails miserably in comparison to Dangerously In Love. Where are the tracks like “Baby Boy” and “Dangerously In Love 2″ and “Naughty Girl” that were the soundtrack to femininity in 2003, and still had enough bounce and soul, so a hip-hop head like myself could rock to them. C’mon B, what’s going on? Even that “Hollywood” song on Jay-Z’s comeback album is a disaster (even though I don’t fault B, she’s guilty by association).

Still, I know you Beyonce’ fans will fail to except reality and defend this shitty ass album to the death. That’s expected from devoted fans. The girl could have released an album and yodeled folk songs and ya’ll still would have bought it. But be realistic. If it’s wack, it’s wack. And if I don’t like it, I don’t like, that don’t mean that I’m hating. I love B, but her album disappointed me.

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9 Responses to “I’m Not a Beyonce’ Hater…”

  1. Babygirl

    Okay Randy, you know I like Beyounce’ (except when she’s w/Jay) but for the most part the girl can sing when she actually sings. If she can just refrain from the moaning and yelling, she is very talented. However, I have to agree with that the album was garbage. I was so disappointed that I wanted to mail it back to her.

    Even her label was in shock when she realeased it. She is singing two octaves too high in most of her songs and for some reason upset w/men in general. Maybe she’ll listen to it w/open ears and realize that she made a huge mistake.

    There are two songs on the album out of ten that is worth listening to and I still to this day don’t play them. But she doesn’t care b/c she has Jay to buy her anything she wants, and I Ain’t mad at her!!!

  2. Randy Exclusive

    I’m glad you agree Babygirl, I’m expecting the Beyonce’ Stans to chime in with hate mail for me later today.

  3. Scip

    Wow Roper!! I didn’t know you had such a strong disappointment in the album, but I agree with you. I for one can’t stand that damn Deja Vu song I think it was a complete disater…and as far as the rest of the album is concerned there is only two or three other songs worth listening to. So in other words I couldn’t agree more with your article.

  4. Randy Exclusive

    Scip, I’m glad you’re feeling me on this. B’Day is garb.

  5. kittykat

    UGH RANDY! BUDDY THAT WAS NOT CALLED FOR!!!

  6. Randy Exclusive

    It’s the truth.

  7. Angel

    Looks like I’m the only dissenter in the group. Granted B’Day isn’t your stereotypical R&B album, but Beyonce’ is maturing into a non-stereotypical artists. She is going to redefine the genre. Yes I said it here first. I LOVE B’Day. It’s a classic! If you know me, I am the last one to hop on anyone’s bandwagon, but what I am is a fan of innovation and artistry. If you don’t see it now, you will see it later. Open you ears to something new… better yet open your minds.

  8. Head

    LOL…Randy you are wild dawg! I cant lie though, when I first got the cd I was mad as hell; however, I forced myself to like it after about 3 weeks of listening to it over and over until I could find something positive in it. After that it was a wrap though–I think that thing may be under my car seat somewhere or in the trunk!

  9. Writers Block Media » Blog Archive » Beyonce’ Is An ’80s Baby

    [...] So word on the streets internet is that Beyonce is really 32 years old. (Yawn). But I guess since everyone thinks I’m a Beyonce’ hater just because I think her album stinks, I’ll help clear the air. Illseed got a picture of B’s passport (from only God knows where) with her age on it. And it verifies that B is an ’80’s baby. It was prolly some ’70’s baby that started this rumor, but no Beyonce’ is ‘81, just like your boy. ’70’s people, quit trying to steal our talent. It’s bad enough we have to take credit for Cassie. « Kinfolk ft. J-Bo (Youngbloodz) “In The South” (Remix) [...]

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