Other Side Of The Block: RE’s Personal Ozone Awards

My long time readers might remember I used to write a column for HHNLive.com (even though I never knew what that stood for). But after the site’s editor-in-chief, Adam Aziz left, the site started to suck, so I basically quit writing for them. But now Adam is the new editor at StreetCred.com and he asked me if I would pick up my Other Side of the Block column over there. I don’t have any street cred but hey, my pen game is vicious, so I think I’ll be aight. Anyways, just as I did last year, I dropped my own personal Ozone Awards. This is my first drop at StreetCred and you can follow the link belong to the site, but I copied the awards to The Block just so I could give the piece so added pics and videos.

StreetCred.com: Randy Exclusive’s Personal Ozone Awards

Most Goons On Deck Award: Lil Boosie
A lot of rappers came with entourages, but I think Boosie Bad Azz brought every dude from Baton Rouge that wasn’t doing anything last week to Houston with him. This is the same group of people that pounced on a dude in Club Glo Saturday night. I’m sure if dude knew Boosie brought enough people to fill a 60-man football roster, he would have wiped himself down and zoomed his ass in the other direction.

Ya’ll Didn’t Have a Clue, Did Ya’ll? Award: The Hilton-Americas Hotel
Bless the Hilton-Americas’ heart, I don’t think they had an idea of what they were getting into when then agreed to be the host hotel for the awards. You shoulda seen their faces when all the rappers started checking it. They were like, “one n*gga, two n*ggas, three n*ggas, FOUR! No! No! No! That’s it! Too many n*ggas!”

It’s Easier To Talk About Rick Ross Online Award: DJ Vlad
I didn’t see this, so I can’t tell you exactly what happened. But from what I heard, DJ Vlad (who I’ve never heard DJ, I just remember his name because I get a bunch of email blasts from him for no apparent reason), asked Rick Ross a smart ass question about this Correctional Officer days during the artist panel on Sunday. Apparently, one of Ross’ goons found this to be an opportune time to introduce his fist to Vlad’s face. Someone shoulda told Vlad to just start a blog and say whatever he wanted to say about Officer Ross that way. That’s whatever one else did.

I Was This Close To Kicking Your Ass Award: Some Random Drunk White Dude
So, I was outside of the hotel, wearing my University of South Carolina Gamecocks alumni “Pardon My Cockiness” t-shirt, when this random drunk white guy comes over to me and says, “Man, what does your shirt say? I should kick your ass for that sh*t!” Confused, I was. Come to find out, the guy was a graduate of my college’s rival school, the Clemson University Tigers, and he felt the need to randomly trash talk about what school was better. But after I told the guy trying to kick my ass wouldn’t be a good idea, especially since he was drunk, I was twice his size and I had a group of guys with me are used to the “if you swing, we all swing” procedure, he changed his tune real quick. Good thing we didn’t beat that man’s ass. I could see the headlines now. “Ozone Magazine Staff Attacks Man At Ozone Awards.” Not a good look.

I Put On For My City Award: J Prince
Rap-A-Lot Record’s CEO James Prince received Ozone’s Living Legend Award, but he could have received an award for having Houston on lock. Without question, J. Prince and Rap-A-Lot run H-Town. F*ck with them nuccas if you wanna, see if your ass don’t come up missing.

Aren’t You Supposed To Be Securing Something? Award: Mike Shabbaz’s Security
For the second year in a row, I don’t know what the f*ck the hired security was doing at the awards show. To me, it’s simple. If a muthaf*cker has a ticket, let them in. If they don’t, don’t. If a muthaf*cker has a backstage pass, let them backstage. If they don’t, don’t. That means if Jeezy shows with 50 people, and none of them muthaf*ckers have tickets, secure the f*cking venue and direct those non-ticket having nuccas to the box office. But no! Security can’t even get that right. So, now we have 500 people backstage, that don’t need to be there, and nowhere to seat them. Thanks, security, thanks. Hell, ya’ll don’t even carry no guns…flashlight cops.

Were You Just Trying To Promote Your Album Award: Trae Tha Truth
I’m not sure how true this is but I heard the reason Trae punched Mike Jones was because Mike Jones went on the radio calling himself the President of Houston and claimed he was the first person to put swangers on a Bentley. Is that really a reason to go around slipping people in the face, Trae? I think he was looking for press. If you ask me, Trae knew the cameras where rolling and he punched Mike Jones on some s*** like, “yeah, I just slapped that nigga! Buy my album and picked up the new Ozone Magazine with me on the cover.”

I Like Your Song Now But It’s Still Kinda Wack Award: Damm D
Damm D is a new Dallas rapper that was recently signed to Rap-A-Lot. His song “She Just Love Me” is probably the biggest song in Texas right now. I heard it before going down there and I thought it was really wack. I heard it everywhere in H-Town, and after hearing it in the club and seeing him perform it, in the club with some liquor in my system, I kinda like it. It’s still kinda wack, just like Shawty Lo sucks as a rapper but his songs sound good kind of way, but the song is catchy as hell.

Grandaddy Souf Award: Mike Jones
Since Grandaddy Souf got knocked out last year, the award for the person that gets his ass whipped will forever be known as the Grandaddy Souf award. Mike Jones, this one’s for you.

Best Performance By a Large Group of People on Stage: West Coast
There might have been a total of 100 people from California at the awards show. During the West Coast set, all of them were on stage. I really thought Glasses Malone was gonna fall off the stage because there were so many people behind him while he was performing “Certified.” Luckily, he didn’t fall because that’s a big dude and someone could have seriously been injured.

Short End of the Stick Award: Houston Rappers
The show was shutdown early, and the Houston performance set never transpired. Not that there’s really any artist besides Bun B (who had already performed), that anyone was really checking for. But the show was in H-Town, so it would have been cool to end the show with some Houston music. Sorry, Houston. Sh*t happens.

Is All That Really Necessary? Award: Houston Police Department
300 police officers were waiting outside when the event was over, looking for a reason to Sean Bell somebody. I just shook my head and went to my room.

Dude Had Me Crackin’ Up Award: DeRay Davis
As the host, DeRay Davis did his thing. He is funny as hell. DeRay Davis hosting in 2008 > Lil Duval hosting in 2007. But it is kinda hard to explain to people who DeRay Davis is. You say, “you know, he was in Barbershop, Nick Cannon’s Wildin’ Out. Does the Bernie Mac skits on Kanye West’s albums and was in Kanye’s video. ‘Without an arm I spit. Without an arm I spit.’” After that, you realized DeRay hasn’t really been in anything memorable. And you just say, “f*ck it, dude was still funny though.”

You Both Deserve a Round of Applause Award: Julia Beverly and TJ Chapman

I know I joke around a lot with these awards, but for this last award, I want to seriously applaud Ozone Magazine’s publisher and editor-in-chief, Julia Beverly and TJ Chapman of TJ’s DJ’s. They both spent the last six months planning and preparing for this awards show weekend, and a few mishaps can’t take away from the fact that Ozone is the only hip-hop magazine with an awards show period. The event drew thousands of artists, DJs, music insiders and fans to Houston as a celebration to recognize Southern hip-hop. Hate all you want, but how many awards shows have you done? None, right? Then “shhhhhhh, as in shut the f*ck up” © (DeRay Davis). This is only the 3rd year of this event, so you can expect some mistakes to be made. But don’t worry, the Ozone Awards will be back, bigger and better next year. And best believe, I will be handing out my own set of awards in 2009.