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Since everybody was making a big fuss about it, I went to see The Karate Kid, starring Will & Jada’s son, Jaden Smith, and Jackie Chan, in this remake of the 1984 Karate Kid classic. Will and Jada produced this movie, so you can see that you’re really keeping all the money in the family, and this kid Jaden is gonna be a star, like his daddy.

So, in this new school Karate Kid flick Jaden Smith plays a kid that moves from Detroit to Beijing, China with his single parent mom, played by Taraji P. Henson, because his mom got transferred for her job. So, they get there, they don’t know any Chinese or nothing, but Jaden sees some kids playing basketball, and goes over. Dude sucks at ball, but he sees this little Chinese girl, so he’s like I’ma go over here and talk to this girl instead. Luckily, she speaks English and lil Jaden spits his lil kid game at her, and that’s the first time you look at the dude and be like, damn he acts just like his dad.

Anyways, Jaden’s talking to the girl, and this lil bully Chinese kid and his lil goons run up on Jaden and are like, nah lil dude, you ain’t gonna come from America and rap at our Chinese girls like that. And Jaden’s like, well what you wanna do nucca? And the Chinese kid is like well what’s up? So, they start fighting, but the bully Chinese kid knows that Kung Fu ish, so Jaden basically gets his ass kicked. But, the Chinese girl kinda likes him, so I guess it’s the price you pay for the puss even at a young age.

So, the next day Jaden goes to school, and the girl goes to his school, but the bully Chinese kid goes to his school too. So, the bully Chinese kid goes over and punks him again, and Jaden is like, man, this is some bullsh*t. So this goes on for a few days, and finally Jaden’s like this kid and his goons ain’t gonna keep punking me, so he pulls a prank on them, and tries to run, but the bully Chinese kid and his lil goons run after him…

So, the bully Chinese kid and his lil goons catch up with Jaden and start beating his ass, but then Jackie Chan comes up, and he’s like the Mr. Miyagi character and is like, aight, break it up. And the bully Chinese kid and his lil goon are like, eff you old man, cause they all know kung ku and they try to whip his ass. But you know, Jackie Chan knows all those kung fu moves, so he takes on like eight lil goons by himself and handles his biz. So, Jaden sees that, and he’s like, you gotta teach me that ish or these kids are gonna keep beating my ass. But Jackie Chan is like, nah, lets go talk to their teacher.

So, Jackie Chan and Jaden go talk to the kung fu teacher, that’s been teaching the bully Chinese kid and all his lil goons, and Jackie Chan is like, can you tell your students to leave this kid alone, and the lil bully Chinese kid is like, that’s the man that beat our ass. And the teacher is like, nah, eff that, what you wanna do old man. Either we’re gonna fight, or that lil black kid is gonna fight. So, Jackie Chan is like, eff  that, I ain’t fighting, the kid will fight in the kung fu tournament. So, the teacher is like, cool.

So, Jaden don’t speak Chinese, so he’s like, what the eff just happened, and Jackie Chan is like you’re gonna fight in the tournament, and I’m gonna teach you kung fu, and Jaden is like that’s that bullsh!t that I be talking about.

So, Jackie Chan is teaching Jaden on some Mr. Miyagi “wax on, wax off” stuff, and Jaden is like, when will I learn some real kung fu, and if you saw the first Karate Kid, you pretty much know how the story goes from here.

All and all, this new school Karate Kid is pretty damn good, without being too much like the original at all. Jaden Smith really comes into his own in this film, and you can see the potential star power this kid has, and it’s like you’re witnessing the first starring role of what maybe a great career.

The Karate Kid is definitely worth the price of admission, and I’m gonna give it 4 chicken sandwiches:

8 Responses to “The Karate Kid (Movie Review)”

  1. Nika

    LOL you are too funny :-) Lawrence wants to go see this so maybe I will treat him this weekend thanks for the FANTASTIC review :-)

  2. Randy Exclusive

    Take him. It was good.

  3. KJ

    NICE! I’m going to see it soon…I was going on Saturday but I went to see “Get him to the Greek” instead.

  4. boi-dan

    hilarious

  5. anon

    that right there was pure comedy…. you should offer movie reviews more often! lmmfao.

  6. Randy Exclusive

    I try to write movie reviews when I go to the movies. I don’t go that often, but I’ll try.

  7. donte regis

    yeah the movie was tight work. dope review RE.

  8. Nika

    @ KJ how was “Get him to the Greek”?

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