Writer’s Block Media » So Sexy
I watch a lot of sports, but I’ve never been able to get into the WNBA (or women’s college b-ball, for that matter). I’ve tried, I know who the good players are, but the games bore me (yes, the fact that most of the women look butch does play a part in my boredom). I will say that Candace Parker is my favorite women’s basketball player ever! She’s got skills, she can dunk and she’s fine as all outdoors.
So, last night Candace’s LA Sparks were playing the Detroit Shock when this incident occurred:
My reaction: Candace! Get outta there!
It was obvious to me what was going on. Man, those nappy headed hoes were hating on Candace Parker because she gets buckets, while staying finer than the rest of them. They were probably trying to scar her pretty face or something. You know how jealous bitches promiscuous women can be. That’s right. Your boy R.E. has a thang for Candace Parker. She’s probably the only WNBA player that could get the bizness. I’m sure there are a couple others, but CP is the truth on the court and off the court, so I don’t even see them other chicks.
You know, in high school, I dated a girl that played on the girls basketball team but that shit didn’t work out. I couldn’t really get with shawty coming home smelling like sweaty gym shorts. And on top of that, an athletic body just ain’t the same as a girl that sits on the sidelines. B-Ball chicks don’t have soft skin and pillow soft azzes. Nah, they got muscles and shit. But you know what? I’d make an exception for Candace Parker.
You know what else. Candace Parker is kinda tall.
I don’t really do tall girls. I’m 6′2” my damn self, so I don’t really like girls 5′10” or taller. It’s not that they’re not fine. I just don’t like walking up in the building and being the tall couple in the room (I’m self conscious like that). That’s just one of my things. Why me and my shawty gotta tower over all the other couples in the room. That ain’t hot. CP is 6′4”, definitely not my type. But you know what, I’d make an exception for Candace Parker.
But she’s engaged to this nucca:
This funny looking negro pictured above is former Duke University b-ball All-American and current Sacramento King, Sheldon Williams. On the court he’s pretty much an NBA bust, but off the court he scooped up Candace Parker, so he’s a winner to me. Those two kinda have that real life Love & Basketball thing going on, but I get the feeling in their one-on-one games, CP usually wins (Sheldon Williams kinda sucks like that). She probably dunks on him, too. Ok, ok, I’m done hating on dude. He got her. Congrats, Sheldon. But you know, I don’t lust over and I wouldn’t hit a married or engaged woman, buuuuuuuuuuut…I’d make an exception for Candace Parker. Sorry, Sheldon.
Say what you wanna about this woman. But if you ask me, she got it. Candace, don’t let them nappy headed hoes get to you. When it comes to women’s basketball players, she’s the baddest of all-time.
I was on my girl Necole Bitchie’s blog earlier today and I ran across a pic of model Tomika Skanes (and that girl that had a hit song a few years back, begging a nucca to fall in love with her but I’m not talking about her). I damn near had one of those Fred Sanford moments. I’ve seen shawty in a video or two, but I never really pay video chicks much attention once a video goes off, so I never know their names. But Tomika Skanes, as 5 Dollaz would say, she’s “dat action,” so I figured now would be as good a time as any to do a “So Sexy” post. If anyone wants to know her background, you’ll have to wiki her for that. I’m just posting her on The Block for Eye Candy purposes. I’m a pervert like that.
ATL has the baddest chicks. Gotta love them Georgia Peaches.
Before I get started, I want to let you all know that I swagger jacked this “Searching For My Sidney Shaw” idea from my dude 1980, who stated this exact same thing in his last blog posted. But when he said it…it hit me. Sidney Shaw is the embodiment of everything R.E. needs in a woman. She’s “brown sugar.” For any of you out there stuck on stupid, Sidney Shaw was the character played by Sanaa Lathan in Brown Sugar (one of the best urban love movies of my generation. Love Jones being the best, in my opinion). I have a pretty long list of things I look for in a wifie, so I’m about to breakdown a few of them and explain how Sid would be the perfect girl to carry my seed.
Shawty Is a Ten
Sanaa Lathan is fine as hell. Shit, she’s Top 10 (dead or alive) on my list. I can’t lie, I’m superficial, so a chick gots to be bad if I’m gonna wife her. Sidney Shaw…she got it. She got that wake up in the morning, still beautiful without make up thing going on. And I’ll confess to having that Yung Berg, light skin chick preference, too. And Sid is just how I like ‘em.
She Works Out
Sid was up in the gym and I think that’s hella sexy. I have a problem with a lot of black women, I don’t think they workout enough. Some do…but most just don’t. Most of the time when I’m in the gym I see a bunch of white girls getting it in. Black girls have those natural curves, but after awhile those curves start to get a little wide (if you know what I mean). You’re not gonna have that body forever, sweetheart. After awhile, your body changes and that metabolism starts slowing down and before you know it, you’ll be walking around wit’ bootydo. To avoid that, you gotta workout. Sadly, most women’s idea of working out is going grocery shopping and that’s just unacceptable. I mean, I’m not ripped like LL Cool J or nothing (no homo), but I do spend 3, 4 days a week in the gym. So, shawty gotta do the same thing, too. Sid did that, which is probably why she’s a 10.
She Understands the Business
In the movie, Sid was editor-in-chief of XXL magazine. Now, I’m not saying a girl has to be a writer or editor like I am. But she just needs to understand when I’m out working, traveling and attending parties that I’m not fuxing nobody. I’m out doing my job. I’m in the music business, which is a very demanding industry, that’s not a 9 to 5 kinda schedule. I can’t be there all the time. I just need for a girl to understand that, be comfortable with this and have trust in me. And that takes someone that understands the business. Sid knew how the business went. Check.
She’s a Roller
When I say “roller,” I’m not talking about a girl that can roll a blunt. I mean, roller in the sense that she’s down to hang out. Whether it be hitting up one of the hood clubs, taking a trip to Target or chillin’ with the fellas, shawty is cool like that. Sid was down for whatever. She even went to the club with Taye Diggs when he was scouting Mos Def. A girl that can roll is essential. Can’t have one of the starstruck/groupie girls. I gotta have a girl that’s chill. Sid was cooler than the other side of the pillow (I’ve been wanting to use that line for a minute now).
And the most important reason that Sidney Shaw is my dreamgirl…
She Loves Hip-Hop
I think Sid loved hip-hop more than me. I love hip-hop to death, and I gotta have a girl that knows a little about the culture. Even if she’s not a hip-hop head, at least be open to listening to new artists and music. One time I had a girl that didn’t really like rap, so every time she got in the car with me, I had to change the CD and put on a R&B album (that relationship was doomed from the start). Sid was different. She knew hip-hop. I could have a conversation with her, and if I say Little Brother, she’d know that I wasn’t talking about my sibling. Or if I mentioned Saigon, I’m not talking about a city in Vietnam. And if I wanted to stay home, watching old school rap videos and argue about who’s the greater MC, Jay-Z, Biggie or Nas, she’s be game for it. Sid gets mad brownie points for being hip-hop.
You know, I could go on and on about some other things that make Sidney the prototype but I’ll stop now. It’s kinda sad that I’m basing my search for the perfect woman on a fictional character from a movie. But hey, it is what is it. Sidney Shaw is my dreamgirl. And when I find her, I’ma keep her. Time for the theme song:
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Ya’ll knew this post was coming, don’t act surprised.
The hell with Paul Pierce, Meagan Good is the real truth. Ya’ll know I love some New-New but Meagan Good is another Hollywood hottie that I have the hots for. If you flashback to last year, I ranked her at #4 (ahead of LL, I might add) on the WritersBlockMedia Hot 10 (while I’m thinking about it, I probably need to redo that list). I fuxs wit’ all the Meagan Good movies, even the bad ones. Biker Boyz, You Got Served, Roll Bounce, Waist Deep…yeah, I like all of those suck azz movies just cause of Meagan Good. I can’t front though, it’s her breastasis. They’re like two big, juicy, ripe cantaloupes. Lawd…
I even like watching her in Stomp The Yard. I actually kinda hate the movie because its depiction of Black Greeks was so ridiculous (not to mention the bad acting), but the movie comes on either HBO or Starz at least once a week and I find myself watching it every time. Oddly enough, that’s one of my favorite movies now. It just kinda reminds me of being in undergrad around the time I joined a fraternity and the relationship between Meagan Good and Columbus Short’s characters reminds me of myself and the girl I was dating a the time. (Kill me, I reminisce like Mary J. sometimes).
Anyways, Complex Magazine recently did a photoshoot with Ms. Good and I saw the video on the web earlier today, so that’s what got this whole conversation started. She took photos with her NFL running back dude Thomas Jones (lucky bastard), but I ain’t even gonna hate on that man. He got a winner.
Tila Tequila and Bow Wow’s new video chick shawty Dollicia Bryan are on the covers of King Magazine’s 3rd Annual Wet issue. I love King…
Spotted at Necole Bitchie’s (of all places).
I stole these pics from IceDotCom of Victoria Secret model and Nick Cannon’s ex-shawty, Selita Ebanks. The chick is bad and lusting over women is a full-time hobby of mine, but ya’ll already know that. I have to hand it to Nick, the dude’s track record with the ladies is formidable (check his stats via Carl), but I think I woulda took Selita over Mariah Carey. What ya’ll think?
More pics after the jump.
